My Day in Lists: Armadale Castle

Why the Armadale Castle (Isle of Skye, Scotland) Would Make a Terrible Location for my Future Destination Wedding

   

1. The weather is dreary, depressing, and annoying.




2. I will not accept whiskey as part of my open bar. My drinks will be classy and sweet and unique. Probably from Pinterest drink cookbooks and served in shot glasses shaped like mason jars with little edible flowers floating in them and biodegradable purple straws.






3. The castle is a pathetic frame of what the ruins used to contain. Honestly, I've seen better backdrops/sets from the JCHS drama department. Shoutout to Joe McDonald, Dylan Russell, and the Jewish Community High School of the Bay. Come on ancient castle builders. You're being upstaged by 14 year olds with glue guns. Step up.

 

4. There will be no kilt wearing at my wedding. No kilts I say!

5. Under no condition will there be bagpipes anywhere in the 15 mile radius around the wedding. I may be able to get on board with a xylophone and maybe a lap harp. But if I hear one bagpipe note from four miles away playing over my beautifully poetic handwritten vows I will hurt someone.

xylophone

lap harp

6. Plaid is so not flattering. I really don't care about its historical significance, it is absolutely out of the color scheme

7. Peacocks are often wandering the castle grounds. Peacocks can be very aggressive. I have never been attacked by peacocks, and my glamorous destination wedding is not the time to test that.

8. The rain: We cannot pay for this entire wedding with 500 guests plus whatever guests my future fiancé may choose to invite AND have to tent the entire premise because the weather enjoys destroying the most magical day of my life.

 

9. The toilets are obnoxious because you have to pump the flusher to get it to work. This is not acceptable and I refuse to put up port a potties. They can and will ruin the decor.

10. There are lots of trees around the grounds with low hanging branches. How does anyone expect my unicorn drawn carriage to parade through with all this ridiculous nature? (for the record, I will not actually be having unicorns carry my Cinderella style seat. I'm putting coned party hats on my collection of white horses)